The invisible Force: How our thoughts shape our lives

Article by Cindy Jackson in NTx Connect

If I could pick just one suggestion, a bit of advice you should focus on to change your life, it would be this— shift the way you look at your goals by resetting your perspective.

Many of my clients have tried, failed, tried again, and come to coaching because they know what they want, and what they should do, yet are not able to make the changes they desire and need. Somehow, between should and did, there's a gap which consists of wanting to, but not doing.

What is it about being human that keeps us working against the goals, dreams and healthy life we know we need but aren't achieving. We start, get close, self-sabotage, feel bad about ourselves, give up and then try again. Many times, it's different scenarios but the same outcome.

I recently heard someone say, "I never make the same mistake twice. Three or four hundred times, yes, but never twice." Maybe you can relate.

Even though most of us do not know the extent that lifestyle choices have on chronic disease, most know that we need to live a healthy life.

What's harder to connect is the role our mind plays in this equation, and how to manage our minds.

How many times do we have the best of intentions to: exercise tomorrow morning, prioritize a relationship or finally cut up those veggies still in their plastic bags-only to talk ourselves out of the very thing we know we should do.

It seems that we have an inner evil twin that works overtime to tax our willpower by convincing us that our healthy decisions can always wait until tomorrow.

This voice in our head never stops talking. It's the voice that convinces you to stay in bed and miss your workout, but tells you your belly is sagging when you look in the mirror, then reminds you that you should have gone to bed earlier, yet tells you that scrolling late at night is a good stress release.

Our inner voice, left unchecked, is critical, blaming, dramatic, contradictory and extreme.

Let's just say that if this voice materialized into a person, you'd "unfriend" them.

Although this voice is loud and commands our attention, its superpower is that it's invisible.

Most of the day, we are completely unaware of its presence and even more so of its power.

Physicist David Bohm said, "Thought creates our world and then says, 'I didn't do it." Our mind uses our thoughts and our feelings, and these feelings feel so strong that the thoughts appear unapologetically true and believable.

Our minds do not work like the rational, logical force in our lives that we assume they do. Bad habits, self-sabotaging choices, and procrastination all lead to a lifestyle that is a far cry from what we really want.

The good news is that we can change our minds and the way we think. This is called neuroplasticity and simply stated, is the ability our brain has to change and grow by making new neuro networks. Every action begins with a thought. To change anything in our lives we must begin with our thoughts. What we think informs our emotions, and these emotions can be the catalyst behind the actions we take, good and bad.

The more productive, healthy thoughts we have, the more productive and healthy we feel.

When we feel productive and healthy, we act in ways that are productive and healthy. When we act productive and healthy the more we think productive and healthy thoughts, and the cycle continues wiring our brain in this pattern.

The converse is also true. There's a snowball effect that occurs here; however, it takes work to get that snowball rolling in the right direction.

This explanation is extremely simplified for the purpose of this article. But how we effectively change is to mindfully (see what I did there) draw our attention to our thoughts, emotions and subsequent behaviors. Getting off autopilot and giving anything not on a screen our full attention is hard, I understand. But by drawing inward, we gain the insight into our behavior we need to make deliberate decisions. Getting to an understanding of our behavior through self-awareness, discovery, and curiosity is a process that reaps huge benefits.

This is one of the many processes I support through coaching and love seeing my clients gain insight that creates sustainable change.

Re-shifting our perspective and gaining consciousness around our unconscious thoughts, opens our lives up to opportunities and possibilities.

Knowing how our minds work-for and against us-is great news. The bad news is this takes time and effort. Our self-defeating thoughts and unhealthy patterns are not going to vanish quickly or without some work. Remember, you build bad habits and good habits the same way.

• Start by examining a behavior that is working against you.

• With a detective like curiosity and without judgement, ask yourself, "What am I thinking, remembering, telling myself when this behavior comes up? Is this true?"

• Next, grab onto the stronger voice inside and explore those thoughts asking yourself,
  "What do I get from this? Do these thoughts align with my goals, dreams, desires, who l want to be?"

These are not rhetorical questions or meant to place blame but rather connects what you want with what you actually do. It's helpful to jot these thoughts down and rewrite them into truths, rooted in what you really want for your life and who you want to be.

By examining our thoughts and behaviors, we can harness the power of our minds to create lasting, positive changes.

To discuss if coaching would benefit you, check out this LINK to set up a complimentary call with me.